Disclaimers and such (the fine print)

 It seems like everybody, everywhere, and all the time must include all kinds of disclaimers and assertions in a desperate effort to protect oneself from the dangers inherent in modern communications. Not that communications have ever been safe, but nowadays the dangers appear faster and faster. You say something, or don't say something, and before you know the world clamors for your blood, you are de-platformed and cancelled, death threats come your way, and nothing short of your head on a pike will do. And you must put your head on the pike all by yourself, promptly and willingly. You are not entitled to request any help, and no delays are allowed. Mind you, you may even be threatened with a lawsuit.

So here are my disclaimers and assertions, at least the ones I can think of right now:

Nothing in anything I ever say or write shall constitute financial, legal, medical, spiritual, astrological, grammatical, or any other kind of advice. Always consult a licensed and experienced professional if you want or need advice, inspiration, or hints of any kind, and that is not me.

I think, therefore I exist... Nahhh, I don't assert that. Do I think? Am I even capable of thinking? Of course not. So forget that one. I don't exist, never have and never will. Any evidence to the contrary is heretofore declared null and void, notwithstanding whatever Descartes or anybody else may say. And that is that.

 I assert and disclaim everything asserted and disclaimed in Microsoft Windows End User Agreement, and everything asserted and disclaimed in Google's Terms of Service. And that includes all past and future versions. Just try to get past that one.

And just in case, I assert my right to disclaim and assert anything I may ever want, proactively and retroactively, at any time and in any manner of my choice. 

'nuff zed? You really never know. But that looks like enough for now. So it is time to go back to gazing at some big, big, big money. Ahhh the joys ...